About Ali Aintrazi’s Ban

This will be one of the sole articles in English on this blog, but I’d rather share it to all.

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Quite recently, Ali Aintrazi was banned from TCGPlayer.com because of his disgraceful act towards Amanda Stevens. If you don’t know what happened, I highly recommend you read the TCGPlayer.com statement. You will find there two links at the beginning of the statement and I encourage you to read both these messages if you haven’t already. I will divide my own statements into several parts as I believe there are several issues to be addressed here.

1 – About the Act and Both Punishments

Ali went up to Amanda and asked if he could « cop a feel ». That by itself is a terrible thing to do, and even though I believe there are far worst acts of sexual harassment, this is still a very grave attitude. In the end, Ali received USC:Major and a  Match Loss, and was expelled from the venue for the day.

On a personal stance, I do believe that the expulsion was legitimate, and I’m not even sure Ali considered it to be unfair. Harassment is a recurring issue that is tough to deal with. It is the first domain where people unintentionally harm others. That’s exactly what happened to Ali (I’ll come back to that later) and to deal with it, I am very sorry to see that forgiveness doesn’t get us anywhere on this particular issue. I do think, both sincerely and sorrily, that the sanction was the right one, though in many other cases I would consider it excessive.

After a few days, Ali was suspended indefinitely from TCGPlayer.com content production. As I was saying earlier, I do believe that even though Ali was very sorry and somehow a victim of circumstances, this attitude can’t go unpunished, and I am glad that TCGPlayer made it public, because the only use of a martyr is to be well known. I’m not 100% sure whether or not Ali deserved that ban (and therefore if the use of « martyr »isn’t too strong), but I feel like the decision had to be made.

2 – On Ali’s Reaction

Ali was described by all parties as being genuinely sorry. While the behavior is in itself atrocious, I clearly believe that his intentions were not to be harmful (just look at the facts, what are the odds of that being an act of premeditated aggression in the first place?). Thus, his apologies do sound sincere to me. I believe that he had the exact right reaction, and I would like to emphasize that for a moment.

Ali first expressed his remorse to the judges.
Upon being expelled, he offered to apologize directly to Amanda (which she refused).
Ali shortly called his TCGPlayer Content Manager to tell him about the issue and ask for guidance.
Ali reached out to Amanda via Tweeter to apologize as he intended to do at the venue.
Ali published a public apology on Facebook.
To my (probably unextensive) knowledge, he stopped there and waited for the sentence.

First thing to mention that, not being able to speak directly with Amanda during the issue at the venue, he apologized to the judges as soon as could be, and he offered to apologize to Amanda at the only possible moment (after the decision had been taken).

Second thing is that when your first reflex is to call for help in a situation like this one, it (probably?) means that Ali understood how deep was the problem he had created. This is actually more than what I would expect. Many people don’t understand that this is the sort of issues that makes life harder for minorities such as LGBT. Ali asked for guidance, because he knew he had to do this right and he couldn’t screw over again. Plus, not doing everything by himself also implies a generous amount of self-questioning, one that you don’t find everywhere and not that often on the MTG professional scene. The fact that he went to his content manager is also taking a risk to be banned from TCGPlayer on the spot, but he knew it was worth the risk.

Third, his apology on Twitter went awfully for him, as Amanda rejected him pretty hard. However, even then, Ali seems to understand how badly Amanda was hurt, and does not seek for forgiveness. I have nothing to say about that conversation made public by Amanda, both have very legitimate positions and arguments. I wouldn’t have expected it to go any other way.

And lastly, he apologized publicly on Facebook. I do not consider myself to be a poet or a good righter by any stretch, but I was actually moved by the message. Well, maybe moved is not the right word for this particular feeling, but I felt like Ali said the right things. He proved that he understood how bad he had hurt people around him. But now, I will state my mind only, and not interpret facts for the following paragraph.

Ali did not emphasize the fact that Amanda was (and still is) trans. Instead, he focused upon the fact that an act of harassment is disgusting regardless the intention or the victim. That is, to me, the right way to go. I, for myself, am bi. And I firmly believe that the only way to have society eventually accepting homosexuality in all its forms is not by shoving it in the face of every one. The more people try to emphasize their differences, the more they will be different. And the same goes not only for the full LGBT movements, but also for other issues (please stop shoving in my face that you’re a vegan, I don’t care). Ali mentioned that Amanda is trans, but did not expand on it, because that’s not the problem (hell, that’s not even a problem); The problem was his disgraceful attitude.
I do realize that this point of view is only mine and I absolutely respect that you do not agree with it. I do not want to provoke any polemic discussion, especially since I know most arguments that counter my own opinion. I just wished to state my mind, not to convince or persuade you of anything. I will further expand on how I think that it is irrelevant of what the issue is (it’s far more important that the issue is solved) in the last paragraph of the next chapter.

This concludes the part about Ali’s reaction. I hope I haven’t missed out on anything, I would be very sorry if I had.

3 – About Amanda’s Reactions

Amanda was badly wounded by Ali’s actions, and I do not consider it abnormal nor illegitimate that she was a little excessive by moments. As I have stated before, I feel like her refusal of Ali’s apology was quite normal, and forgiving him on Twitter or on the spot would have probably been wrong. However, there a few issues that made me tilt in her message.

Most importantly, Amanda does not act like someone who seeks to solve a problem, but rather to create or intensify one. Her attitude contrasts greatly with that of Ali in that matter. Ali was unsure of what to do, so he called up on his content manager, went towards Amanda (and interestingly enough, he offered to « do anything that could actually help », but she did not give him the occasion to do that), and publicly apologized. Amanda did not take any real action until her article, and that article wasn’t meant to solve anything, but rather to express discontent at Ali’s public apology on Facebook. I would like to go into the detail of that article, and mostly the points that let me think that she’s not looking for a solution to the crisis.

She « doesn’t push her luck » in trying to completely ban Ali from the venue. I’m not sure what to take from that choice of words, so I’ll leave it at that, but I will say that many interpretations are possible and not all are in favor of Amanda.
She could have gone to TCGPlayer herself, but she didn’t (and she ends up regretting it).
She’s criticizing a Facebook post instead of a Twitter post. That’s just cutting straws in half, as it is very easy to share a Facebook post on Twitter, and it’s far more practical to use Facebook to post long messages like this one. Plus, if she really wanted a Twitter post, she could have mentioned it.
She accuses the Facebook community (???) of being too indulgent on Ali. While that kind of concern does seem legit (she’s right, many people will think that Ali is a good guy for such an apology), I don’t know how this would be any different on Twitter, nor if that even is a problem. I would rather have Ali post an apology and be somewhat praised for it rather than him not making the issue public and not apologizing at all.
« Does he ask his Facebook friends and followers to help him brainstorm means to make spaces both inclusive and safe? » Not really, because he, much like her, doesn’t trust the Facebook community to have the right mindset to help him make decisions on that matter. But it is worth noting that he did ask her for some help to brainstorm (she did not respond though he asked twice), ans well as his manager. If Ali actually followed his manager’s advice, he also reached out to the trans community, but since we can’t be too sure of that let’s just leave it here. The point is that Ali did reach out for means to fix the problem.
She ultimately admits she doesn’t know what Ali should be doing. The least I would expect from such a virulent article (considering it comes after two apologies, both private and public), is a gideline for Ali and those in his situation.

The fact that Amanda is not looking to solve anything by sending this article is a major tilt for me (yeah, I’m French, we get that all the time here and it’s seriously annoying). However, I also feel like Amanda was taking it a little too personally, and by moments lacks the step back needed to fully comprehend the situation. I am thinking about the part where she states that :

I told Casey that it was easy to be sorry when you are receiving a Match Loss and being ejected from a venue. His opportunity to apologize had long since passed.

I’m not sure how true that is. In this situation, it doesn’t seem like Ali and Amanda were directly in contact, and even if they had been, Ali was proposing a personal apology after the sanction was decided. Given how things went from there on, I sincerely believe that Ali was not trying to obtain forgiveness, but solely to make things right with Amanda. It was true he owed her an apology, and he did give it to her through Twitter later on. I think that if Amanda had not taken it so personally, she could have noticed that in the end, this apology would not have changed anything. And if I decide to be a sick son of a bitch, I can even say that Amanda was afraid of a direct confrontation with Ali, and she would rather have it on Twitter than in real life. But that would be going too far, there are no facts to prove that, and Amanda’s reaction, especially on the heat of the moment, is very understandable (I would have probably done the same). I’m just saying her interpretation of the facts might have been a little narrow-sighted from time to time, and her tone does not suggest that she questions herself so much.

And lastly, I would like to mention what I think is a major miscommunication problem on the issues at stake. Ali expressed his apologies on his harassment act, as should he. But to Amanda, the problem was transphobia. I personally believe that no transphobia was involved (he honestly mistook Amanda for a man, which alone is one of the rudest things I can think to do, but there was no hatred, persecution nor phobia in that action), but that’s besides the point. I don’t care who’s right or wrong on the matter, the fact is that for as long as they disagree on the issues as stake, there will be a conflict. The only way to fix that is -I believe- a calm and constructive discussion between the two, hopefully not by posting articles on diverse websites. If Amanda was more hurt by the fact of being confused for a man and Ali apologized for harassing her, things can’t go anywhere. The easy way out for him would be to apologize for both his faults, but that’s certainly not for me to decide.

Conclusion

All in all, I feel like Ali’s suspension is called for, but I hope it will only lasts for a few weeks, because he did what he could to make it right. Sorry if my style was abrupt and not elegant. I only write English articles for Mindsport Academy, I usually write in French, and by no stretch do I consider myself to be a good author in any language.

I would like to mention once more that even though I have mostly taken Ali’s defense in this article, by no means do I consider Amanda to be excessive, nor do I judge her actions (unlike those of Ali). I respect her very much for taking all those actions, all of which seem legitimate to my eye, though I do not agree with some parts of that reaction.

I sincerely hope that no-one will take this article personally, as I have stated before my goal is not to wound anyone, not even to persuade anyone of anything. Just to state my mind, in the hope that an extra opinion on the issue will help Ali and Amanda solve it.

And lastly, perhaps most importantly, I am a stranger to this situation. There are probably some facts I am misinterpreting, some I don’t know of, and some I forget. If that is the case, please do not think of me as a stubborn idiot who only looks at a part of the facts. I would rather be wrong on the facts and change my opinion accordingly rather than hopelessly holding on to this opinion I’ve described on an issue that -it’s true- doesn’t even concern me.

So that’s that. Once again, don’t take anything I said too personally, especially if I’m wrong. Don’t hesitate to share the article if you think it’s worth it though, hopefully it’ll be helpful to some. And before I leave, I’d like to state a great author :

Remember to smile, laugh, and sling some cardstock.

La bise!